Touring the Heart of America

Steve and John were in love. They were both in love with America, the beautiful. So one lovely autumn day, Steve-o and John-bon decided to take a tour of the heart of America, Washington D.C.



In fact, people began noticing a patriotic glow around Stevie-jeebies and Johnny-five and were soon bit by the patriot bug themselves. So they all decided to dance together towards an icon of American patriotism.



Soon other people joined in the patriotic journey to that majestic icon! People were risking life and limb running through whole flocks of birds just to reach that pinnacle of liberty!



Even Peter Jackson (not the LotR director) chimed in to say "hey, what's all the hullabaloo?" and when noone replied, began running along with everyone else just for the heck of it.



And even Comrade Petrovich, lord bless his old-fashioned Commie soul, was touched by the Patriotic dance towards that monument of bald-eagle pride.




Ooooh, ho ho, what's this! Steverino and Long John and the crowd of patriot-crazies appear to be on the right track! "Banners of America", they all cried in perfect unison, "lead the way!"



The ruckus was so great that even the birds were like, "fuuug, let's go check it out!" So they all flew together in a type of flight-dance to the liberty core as well.



The American flags grew in numbers! The pride of people grew in spirit! It soared to the Heavens so that the angels themselves could hear freedom ring!



The pinnacle of pride! The weary voyagers had finally arrived at the base of the holy obelisk of freedom. Surrounded by banners laiden with broad stripes and bright stars, it stood with a mighty presence that brought tears to the children and bowel movements to the elders.



Those geezers, they just couldn't hold it. Luckily, like all other modern structures of America, this one was conveniently equipped with pooping facilities.



But nevertheless! The weary travelers had finally arrived to that majestic place, the Washington Monument. Oh, it's grandiose majesticity! So grand. So majestic. "O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain!"



Freakin' everyone started singing like a perfectly choreographed Broadway musical! "For purple mountain majesties, above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea!"

And then everyone went to Outback Steakhouse and ate a big ol' steak, a baked potato and topped it off with a tall brew. The end.